Cheers and Jeers: Individual Girl Man Digicam FRIDAY!!!


“Thought: we rent Jeff Goldblum to calmly discuss this virus into chilling out.”
—Conan O’Brien

“Louie Gohmert examined constructive for the coronavirus and knowledgeable his workers about it in particular person. He referred to as them collectively in a room to inform them in person who he had a highly-infectious respiratory illness. That is like organizing an orgy to inform everybody you’ve got crabs.”
—Seth Meyers

—As we speak’s New York Day by day Information

“[Trump] desires to delay the election. Individuals had been like, how lengthy a delay are we speaking about right here? Months, like your response to Covid?  Years, like your response to Putin?  Or a long time, like your hug for Don, Jr.?”
—Jimmy Fallon

Trump tweet: Sleepy Joe Biden is only a Trojan Horse for the Radical Left Agenda. He’ll do no matter they need!
Trevor Noah: Trump’s been cautious of Trojans ever since Eric was born

—The Day by day Present

“Trump bragged about passing a primary cognitive check. Which I’ll say, when it comes to brags, is at the least higher than ‘I’ve met Ghislain Maxwell a number of occasions and I want her effectively.'”
—John Oliver

And now, our function presentation…

Cheers and Jeers for Friday, July 31, 2020

Word: Whoever broke into my mind and changed my entrenched narrative with recent perspective has 24 hours to modify it again or I am calling the right authorities.  —Mgr.

By the Numbers:

“Signed, sealed, delivered in two days, imagine me!!!”

Days ’til Trump’s promised deadline to “signal a full and full well being care plan within the subsequent two weeks”: 2

Day on which covid-related deaths formally handed 150,000: 7/28/20

% of Individuals polled by the Kaiser Household Basis who imagine that, concerning covid-19, “the worst is but to come back”: 60%

Biden-Trump matchup in North Carolina by way of the most recent PPP ballot: 49%-46%

Shares traded per day in Kodak inventory since July 1: 52,000 to 215,000

Variety of Kodak shares that traded sooner or later earlier than the White Home announcement that Kodak was getting an enormous medical mortgage: 1,645,000

Yr that Oprah launched O journal, which is ending its print version and shifting completely on-line: 2000

Pet Pic of the Day: Over in England—Daisy is SAVED!!!

CHEERS to a positive sendoff. Congressman and champion of nonviolent resistance John Lewis was laid to relaxation yesterday in Atlanta, however not earlier than receiving per week of accolades in his hometown of Troy, Alabama…and throughout the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma…and Montgomery…and D.C….and at last a triple-president salute at Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta. Along with the tributes from, amongst others, Obama, Bush, Clinton, Pelosi, and Lewis mentor Rev. James Lawson (now 91), John himself left us a final message—half historical past lesson, half pep discuss, and half instruction handbook on easy methods to transfer ahead in his absence:

Whereas my time right here has now come to an finish, I would like you to know that within the final days and hours of my life you impressed me. You stuffed me with hope in regards to the subsequent chapter of the good American story whenever you used your energy to make a distinction in our society. … That’s the reason I needed to go to Black Lives Matter Plaza in Washington, although I used to be admitted to the hospital the next day. I simply needed to see and really feel it for myself that, after a few years of silent witness, the reality remains to be marching on. […]

WASHINGTON, DC - JUNE 13:  (L-R) U.S. Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-WA), President of CASA in Action Gustavo Torres, Rep. John Lewis (D-GA), Rep. Raul Grijalva (D-AZ) and Rep. Judy Chu (D-CA) march to the headquarters of U.S. Customs and Border Protection during a protest June 13, 2018 in Washington, DC. Democratic congressional members joined actives to protest "the Trump administration's policy to separate children from their parents at the border."  (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)
Good hassle 2018: Lewis and different members of Congress protesting Trump’s White Home’s coverage of separating children from their dad and mom on the Mexican border. 

Once you see one thing that’s not proper, it’s essential to say one thing. It’s essential to do one thing. Democracy shouldn’t be a state. It’s an act, and every technology should do its half to assist construct what we referred to as the Beloved Neighborhood, a nation and world society at peace with itself. […] It’s essential to additionally research and study the teachings of historical past as a result of humanity has been concerned on this soul-wrenching, existential battle for a really very long time. Folks on each continent have stood in your footwear, by means of a long time and centuries earlier than you.

Although I will not be right here with you, I urge you to reply the very best calling of your coronary heart and arise for what you really imagine. In my life I’ve achieved all I can to reveal that the way in which of peace, the way in which of affection and nonviolence is the extra wonderful method. Now it’s your flip to let freedom ring.

I do not know what constitutes good hassle up yonder, however I’ve little doubt John is already as much as his twinkling eyeballs in it.

CHEERS to this weekend’s large occasion. In the end the tip of our well being care nightmare is in sight. Two weeks in the past we bought the good news:

This Sunday is the official finish of the 2 weeks, and I’ve to say I’ve by no means seen a well being care overhaul go so easily, from introduction to sub-committee consideration, and on to the total committee for a vote, adopted by debate within the Home and Senate, adopted by passage of Trumpcare in each chambers, merging of each payments, last passage, and now the invoice presumably sits in all its glory on the president’s desk for his Sharpie signature. Nicely achieved, everyone. It has been a pleasure spending these 14 days on this alternate universe with you.

CHEERS to a bit of assist from our mates. On July 31, 1777 (gosh, it looks like yesterday), the Marquis de Lafayette was made a major-general within the American Continental Military.  He stated that, though we needed to “go to struggle with the military you’ve got, not the military you may want or want to have at a later time,” the British Military, now positioned in “Yorktown and Philadelphia and east, west, south and north considerably,” was “within the final throes of the insurgency, if you’ll”  as a result of we had “turned a nook,” and promised that after we gained the Conflict of Independence—primarily based on a wise “time horizon”—we might be “greeted as liberators with sweets and flowers.” Loopy French. The place do they give you these items?



JEERS to dying for that man. President Trump insisted on holding his mask-optional Tulsa cult rally though consultants skilled within the fields of—[Checks notes]—”science” and “drugs” warned that Covid-19 can be attending as effectively and other people would catch it and die. That rally was Trump’s Kool-Assist, and solely essentially the most brainwashed individuals attended. One in all them briefly led the Republican main race for president in 2012. This man:

A tweet since deleted by his social media handlers.

And now Herman Cain is dead of problems from the Covid-19 he inhaled as he laughed and danced with the opposite mad red-hatters. I’ve to say, I am stunned he went like this. I all the time thought his pizza was gonna get him first.

CHEERS to remembering that point when the Republicans had been superior!!!  Yup—six years in the past this week the Home Intelligence Committee launched the findings of their Benghazi investigation.  And similar to Trey Gowdy’s “choose committee” sideshow, what they discovered was a whole lotta nothin’

there was no deliberate wrongdoing by the Obama administration within the 2012 assault on the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi, Libya, that killed Ambassador Chris Stevens and three different Individuals, stated Rep. Mike Thompson of St. Helena, the second-ranking Democrat on the committee.

The Clay Bennett basic.

The panel voted Thursday to declassify the report, the results of two years of investigation by the committee.  U.S. intelligence companies must approve making the report public.  Thompson stated the report” confirms that nobody was intentionally misled, no army belongings had been withheld and no stand-down order (to U.S. forces) was given.”

 As Joan McCarter noted six years in the past, Gowdy swore on a stack of Brylcreem that his committee’s investigation—quoting right here—”can be an goal seek for details, not a partisan try to smear Democrats forward of the 2014 mid-term elections and the 2016 presidential race.”  And since his lips had been shifting on the time, naturally he was lying. In the event that they weren’t so busy with covid and their present slate of investigations into Trump, I might counsel that Home Democrats oughtta demand a choose committee investigation into the choose committee’s investigation, and conduct it at an acceptable venue: below a circus tent.

CHEERS to residence vegetation. Doesn’t appear like there’s an entire helluva lot on the teevee field this weekend, which is sensible because it’s the center of frickin’ summer season.

The court docket is again in session.

Traditional Friday viewing: Jeopardy (a “from the vault” celeb version that includes contestants Michael McKean, Cheech Marin, and Jane Curtain), Chris Hayes, Rachel Maddow, and Lawrence O’Donnell. Invoice Maher talks with Kerry Washington, Jim Carrey, columnist Thomas Chatterton Williams, and Bari Weiss at 10 on HBO’s Actual Time.  New home video releases embrace Marvel Girl: The  Full Assortment, and the Kevin Bacon thriller You Ought to Have Left.  Omigod, looka this: the basketballers are back on the boards.  And the baseball schedule is here.  And even hockey is back. (The dentists are very joyful about that.) On 60 Minutes: the tussle in California between authorized pot gross sales and the black market, a holy web site visited by Ethiopian pilgrims, and a diabolical case of forgery. Then John Oliver tucks us all in Sunday night time at 11 on HBO’s Final Week Tonight.  

Now here is your Sunday morning lineup:

This Week: Speaker Nancy Pelosi; HMS Titanic’s Trump’s Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin; ABC Information Well being Poobah Dr. Jennifer Ashton; FiveThirtyEight senior author Perry Bacon Jr., and Axios’s Jonathan Swan.

Meet the Press: TBA

Donald Trump, Republicans, GOP
The Trump officers who drew the quick straws will flail and flounder on the teevee Sunday morning.

Face the Nation: Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC); former FDA commissioner Scott Gottlieb; Management Convention on Human and Civil Rights Vanita Gupta; Neel Kashkari of the Federal Reserve Financial institution of Minneapolis; HMS Titanic Trump White Home chief of workers Mark Meadows.

CNN’s State of the UnionStacey Abrams; Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC); Gov. Ass Hutchinson (R-AR); Dr. Deborah Birx. 

Fox GOP Speaking Factors Sunday: HMS Titanic Trump marketing campaign senior adviser Jason Miller; Rep. Karen Bass (D-CA); Sen. Tammy Duckworth (D-IL).

 Glad viewing!

Ten years in the past in C&J: July 31, 2010

CHEERS to celestial scale-busters.  Look!  Up within the sky!  It is a actually, actually fats fowl!  No, it is a humongoid aircraft!  No, wait, by no means thoughts…it is simply the heaviest stars ever discovered by humankind.  Scientists are slightly gobsmacked by the discover, saying that one star weighs “greater than 300 occasions the mass of the Solar, or twice as a lot because the at the moment accepted restrict of 150 photo voltaic plenty.”  The seemingly motive for the phenomenon, in line with astronomical dieticians: an excessive amount of high-fructose quark syrup.

And only one extra…

JEERS to a first-class slacker. On Sunday’s date in 1923, Warren Harding’s coronary heart went kerflooey and he died along with his boots on in a San Francisco resort on the ripe younger age of 58. Though he gained his 1920 election in a landslide and was extremely popular whereas in workplace, his legacy shortly tarnished. Of their guide Score the Presidents, William Ridings Jr. and Stuart McIver (together with 719 historians) rank Harding useless final. However as soon as the present occupant of the White Home lastly leaves and bumps Harding as much as #44 on the checklist, they gained’t should tweak their conclusions a lot to suit Lord Dampnut:

Contributors within the Ridings-McIver Presidential ballot agree overwhelmingly that Harding deserves low marks for his poor efficiency in each class.

“I’m not match for the workplace and will by no means have been right here.”
—Warren Harding

His finest ranking, for the Political Talent class, apparently for his spectacular election margin, was solely thirty-eighth. He was ranked our worst president within the Management and Appointments class and subsequent to final within the Accomplishments and Disaster Administration and the Character and Integrity classes. Descriptive feedback embrace such remarks as “out of his depth” and “over his head.”

The presidency calls for an individual versed in and within the nice home and overseas problems with the time.  Alas, Harding was primarily in poker, bootleg bourbon, and keen girls. He was, sadly, only a small-town politician, a mean man in a job that demanded excess of a mean man might ship, or as ballot contributors describe him, “an amiable idiot, incompetent, inept, corrupt, immoral.”

On the upside, he had normal-size arms, wasn’t a slumlord, and didn’t abuse his twitter account.

Have a pleasant weekend and I’ll see you subsequent month. Flooring’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about at present?